I’m officially back home: New York.
After a year and two months of contemplation, all my belongings have been moved from a storage unit in Los Angeles to one in upstate NY.
Currently, I’m staying at my family’s home. The plan is to stay here through the summer and then find a place in the city—the city where I was born and raised. From Brooklyn to Manhattan, and now upstate, New York is home.
I spent the past 15 years in Los Angeles (technically longer, but I came back to NY for a year in the beginning, so this is the approximate math). I love LA. I’m not a New Yorker who hates on the West Coast. It was love at first sight for me.
The mountains, the beaches, the sunshine—all intoxicating for this twenty-something-year-old transplant who only saw nature in Central Park and whose childhood beach was Coney Island.
I love driving. Yup! I love driving. I hate traffic, but driving is theraputic. Driving alone with my thoughts was my favorite. I came up with some of my best ideas driving on the 10.
LA also gave me some of the greatest friends of my life—friends who have, and will always, be family. But despite all my love for LA, I felt it in my bones: it was time to go.
It started back in 2023.
It was a rough year for the entertainment industry, and as an actor and writer who’s a member of both unions, 2023 was workless. No auditions, no meetings, no pitching—no work. I had just bought a brand-new house at the end of 2022 (great timing!) and was feeling depressed. I realized a lot of things that year…
This New Yorker doesn’t like living in a house alone. I grew up in apartments. My family bought a house upstate when I started college at NYU, so instead of moving into my first house with them, I moved into my first dorm room along Washington Square Park. After college, I stayed in NY, and it wasn’t until years later, in 2015 (I graduated in 2000), that I moved into my first house in LA. It was purchased by me and my ex-husband. It was beautiful—the perfect Cali house in Silver Lake. Bright, mid-century modern with a sprawling outdoor space to go with it. But when we separated, I moved back into an apartment. Due to the pressure to invest rather than “waste my money on rent,” I bought my second house in 2022. Owning a home as a single woman was not for me. I felt lonely and didn’t love having the sole responsibility of a mortgage and house maintenance. It felt like I was paying a lot for way more space than I needed.
Los Angeles, without the active entertainment hustle and bustle, just isn’t the same. There’s magic in LA—a place where people go to live out their dreams. But when the possibilities are gone, the town gets dark. LA was hurting. People were out of work and striking every day to have their voices heard. Of course, there’s more to LA than just Hollywood, but anyone who tells you that that’s not what 90% of people live, breathe, and talk about on a daily basis is lying. Even the industries not directly related to Hollywood are affected by Hollywood.
I missed my family. I am very close to my family. My mom, siblings, and nephews are my world. While I did visit NY 3-4 times a year, that still wasn’t feeling like enough. I felt like I was missing out on their day-to-day lives. Being FaceTimed for birthdays and catch-ups just wasn’t enough anymore. My nephews were growing too fast, and I really missed my mom.
So, with all these things in mind, plus being fresh out of a divorce (dating in LA is abysmal), the plan was to go home for Christmas, stay for a couple of months, and then get a small place in LA. This way I could test out being bicoastal for 2024. Like, spending months at a time on each coast. What happened instead was that I never went back. I stayed in upstate NY with my mom, close to my family. I visited LA to see my friends, but I just stayed in NY.
I spent all of 2024 negotiating with myself. Questioning: Where do I want to live? Should I go back? Am I making a mistake?
All my friends are in LA, but all my family is in NY. I can write from anywhere, and with self-tapes still being the norm for acting, I can audition from anywhere, too. So, what was I going to do?
Well, it took about a year to figure it out, but at the top of 2025, I decided to return home for good—with lots of visits to Los Angeles to see my friends (and eat some of my favorite foods).
Now, I’m upstate with all my stuff, trying to figure out where in the city I want to land. NYC is a completely different place than it was when I left. Neighborhoods have drastically changed, and the vibe is just…different. But I’m excited. I’m excited to reacclimate to my hometown and plant roots here again.
It feels scary and familiar all at once.
Of course, as an actor and writer, my ass might get a job that moves me right back to LA—or anywhere in the world—so there’s that. But for now, I’m enjoying being home.
Lots of change is happening in my life—some I haven’t mentioned here, but will share in time. With all the change, it’s nice to be back near family and in the place that shaped me.
Mid-life is no joke. I feel like I’m constantly evaluating every decision I make for fear of getting life wrong. Half of my life (God willing) is still left to live, and I just want it to be the best years yet. I know better, though. I know life is not necessarily something you can get right or wrong. Life is life, and living is a blessing.
Also, it’s good to be home.